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Chapter 10: Page 21

A definite bitter sweet page for me. ┬áThese guys were to be Richard’s companions across purgatory.


Discontinuity. I presume you will eventually explain how Rich wound up in this situation. Even if Betrayal is his/her unwanted companion.

BTW: “Tome”? I’m willing to stretch and say he’s speaking of her Book of Days, but I really do think you intended “time”.

Where IS Betrayal by the way? I don’t see him anywhere in the Entourage. Further, “ending” this “once man” is a bad idea, unless they WANT to be Leviathan chow.

So – from the next page, it seems ‘Tome’ is a character name.
In which case, a comma before it would seem apposite, since the sentence is then an address to that character.

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